my journal is so..
my journal is so..
CONTAINS SMUT !!! MINORS DNI !!!!
content warning: smut, tension, homophobia, alcohol, degrading
You sat at the end of the bar counter, sipping anxiously on the German beer in front of you. Rock music played over the speakers in the bar, as people would walk around, approaching the jukebox, and then sitting with their friends, maybe even lovers.
You watched this all, feeling lonesome upon the sight. The envy of these people stabbing into your heart, almost like a rusted knife.
You let out a sigh and took another sip from the bottle. The bartender suddenly approached you and handed you a few shots of something. You raised a brow.
“The kind woman down there bought you a few shots. She may want to become friends.” The bartender explained, smiling and gesturing down the bar. About 7 seats down was a woman in a beautiful tan leather coat, tight black jeans, and knee high black heeled boots. She had a beautiful side profile which showed off her angled nose and cheek bones, her hair framing her face like a picture.
You took in all of this as the beautiful woman waved. You panicked, and gestured to the seat next to you, inviting her to sit with you. She nods, smiling, and walks over, almost in slow motion.
“Hello.” She says, sitting down. She looks you up and down, with a hungry look in her eyes.
“Hi.” You said, smirking at her, looking her up and down, giving her a wink.
“Bold one, aren’t you darling?” She says, a thick German accent dripping from her words like a venom.
“My name’s Y/N.” You stated, leaning back on your barstool a bit, your hands gripping the broken leather and metal seat, between your knees.
“I’m Samantha, Sam for short though.” She said, biting her lip at you, and offering her hand, which you took, raising it to your lips and kissing her scratched up knuckles gently.
“Well now that we’ve introduced ourselves, let’s get out of here.” Sam continued, waving over the bartender who asked if Sam was leaving. She nodded and said she would pay for your drinks. You smiled.
The bartender gave the two of you a nod and a wink before bringing a checkbook to Sam. She paid in cash, tipping the bartender, and then grabbed your hand, pulling you up.
“Let’s go, darling.” She said, teasing you a bit. The two of you walked to her place, the rain gently sprinkled along the two of you in the German night.
“It’s beautiful out, isn’t it?” Sam said, leading you along the Berlin streets.
“Not as beautiful as you.” You smiled.
“Hey wait..” She said, stopping in front of a phone booth.
She pointed at it and looked at you.
“What if we..”
“Absolutely not.” You interrupt, laughing.
“Okay okay, let’s go, before we get colds.” Sam exclaims, walking towards an old building.
“Its my apartment building. My work gave me the suite on the top floor. Nobody’s around us, except the people below us, who moved out. So it’s just us, really.” Sam explains, walking into the building.
You nodded with a hum of understanding as the two of you stepped into an elevator.
The elevator doors closed and Sam grew closer to you.
“Good girl. You know, if I had stayed in that bar another second, I don’t know what I would’ve done. You’re just too damn pretty.” Sam whispered into your ear, her Germanic accent echoing in your brain.
“Hm, I would like to find out what you would’ve done. Educate me, Samantha.” Her name rolling off of your tongue.
She sighs deeply and leads her finger down your arm.
“You wanna know?”
“Yeah.” You whispered nearly out of breath, and then the elevator dinged again.
“Ah! It’s my floor. I’ll tell you in just a second.” She walked to her door, unlocking it smoothly, and leading you in, locking it behind you.
“Sit.” She pointed to a couch.
“I’ll grab drinks.” She continued, walking into the kitchen, you watched her hands as she poured wine into two glasses. The bones and veins in her hands moving. You wondered what they’d look like in different places. A shiver went down your spine and you felt a warmness in your lower stomach.
“It’s rude to stare, darling.” Samantha interrupted your thoughts.
“It’s rude to keep me waiting, ma’am.” You chimed back.
She let out a laugh as she set down the glasses and sat across from you.
“Awwe, are you that impatient? Tired of waiting for me already? You’re gonna have one hell of a night then.” Samantha responded, smirking, leaning backwards, resting her head on a large pillow behind her.
“Please just tell me what you were going to say on the elevator, it’s killing me!” You pleaded.
“Ah, that. You wanted to know what I would do to you?” She smirked again. That fucking smirk.
You thought. It wasn’t what we were going to do, it was what she was gonna do to you.
“Yeah. Tell me.”
“I would’ve fucking had you in that bathroom.”
You felt yourself grow warmer, and more flustered.
“Pinned you against the wall- had you begging. Is that what you wanted to hear, my little slut?” She said. You shouldn’t enjoy her degrading, sinful, words.
But you did. You loved every single one.
Your body was begging to be touched though, so you moved closer to her.
“Hm? You liked that huh?” She said huskily, moving closer to you.
“Fuck me.” You uttered out the words Samantha had been begging to hear since she saw you. She groaned.
“God I was waiting for that, darling.” She smirked and moved closer.
“Can I kiss you?”
“Yes. Please just touch me.” You begged.
She hummed with approval, dipping her head into a deep kiss, grabbing the back of your head, pulling your hair, keeping your head in her level.
You both pulled apart, and she smiled down at your state.
You whined, wanting her to do more to you.
“Fuck- please, Sam, just, fuck me, please.” You begged.
She smiled sadistically.
“Can I spit in your mouth, love? And mark you as mine? Fuck you like you’re mine?” She asked.
“Of course, just don’t keep me waiting.” You moaned.
She smiled and began unbuttoning your shirt, slowly but surely, you were now mostly exposed to the German woman as she nibbled along your neck, receiving moans and whimpers from you, as she marked you.
Her cold, beautiful hands ran down your body as she laid you down underneath her.
“God, you’re so fucking pretty, begging for me like that.” She whispered as she observed you, sweaty and flustered underneath her body.
“Open up love.” Samantha demanded, as she leaned over you.
You opened your legs, providing her access to you, before she moved her finger from side to side.
“Uh uh, wrong one love.”
You looked at her in confusion and she pointed to her mouth.
She then spat, her saliva landing in your mouth, you swallowed it, moaning as you felt her spit going down your throat.
“You like that huh? You wish I came down your throat?” Samantha enticed.
You nodded, clenching your thighs together, hoping for the stimulation that Samantha hadn’t yet gave you.
She let out a small laugh and then kissed down to your hips, taking off your jeans, as she slid them off she let out a wolf whistle, seeing how pretty you were, and you weren’t even naked yet.
“Did you dress all fancy in case you got fucked? Is that how much of a little slut you are?” She said, lightly slapping the top of your clothed clit.
You moaned just by the slight friction.
“Please- fuck me” You uttered the words again, a plead, begging. Your body tingling and throbbing, wishing to be used by the woman who stood over you, dominating you.
She kissed you, and then bit the top of your underwear, bringing it off your body with merely her teeth.
You moaned at just the sight. She hadn’t even fucked you yet and you were a moaning mess.
“Shit you’re so fucking wet for me darling. Do I really excite you that much?” She enthused. You simply moaned in response.
She lowered her head towards your wetness and then stopped.
“Wh- what?” You moaned out.
“Do you touch yourself?” She asked, now propping her hands on your bare thighs.
“Yes.” You answered simply.
“What do you think of?”
“Being fucked so hard I can’t walk the next day, edged until I’m sobbing, and having a woman deep inside me.” You answered honestly, staring up at Samantha.
“Good thing I can make that all happen sweetheart. I have no problem being deep in that pretty pussy of yours.” She said, as she removed a hand off your thigh, and slowly shoved two fingers into you.
You groaned as you felt your eyes roll back into your head due to the sensation. You felt yourself throbbing as her fingers moved in and out of you, her sinful praises filling your head.
“Oh my god, Samantha please.” You begged, moving yourself up and down on her, wanting to be fucked even harder.
“Darling, should I bring out my toys?” She offered, smiling at you menacingly.
“Alright, then you should follow me to the bedroom. I’d rather not have your cum stains on my brand new couch.” She teased, leading you into her bedroom.
“Who says I’ll cum anyway?” You asked, punching her shoulder as the two of you walked into her bedroom.
“Hmm, seeing as you were just moaning and begging for me, I’d say you’ll probably cum pretty fast. Or maybe, I won’t even let you.” She said, her voice deepening.
Suddenly, she smirked at you and pushed you onto her bed. She laid on top of you for a moment before smoothly removing your bra with one hand, and tossing it across her room. She quickly leaned over her bed and pulled out a small red and black box.
She smiled and laid out a blindfold, and a strap-on.
“Want anything else, liebe?” She offered.
“To be fucked.” You said dryly, although your dry speech couldn’t be compared to the wetness you had down below.
Samantha laughed before setting the box on the floor and shoving it underneath her bed.
“Fucking you, is something I can do.”
She stood above you and strapped the strap-on to herself, and then leaned down and tied the blindfold across your eyes, resulting in your sight becoming blackened.
“Does it fit well, darling?” She asked.
You nodded and you heard a small hum from Sam.
“I’m going to use this strap on now. Are you okay with this?” She checked. You nodded and she said nothing.
“I need verbal consent.”
She lightly kissed you on the forehead before rubbing the tip of the strap on your clit. You moaned and bucked your head back at the teasing sensation affecting you.
After you got used to that feeling, she thrusted into you.
Obscenities and praises started to leave your mouth as she fucked you.
“You’re doing so fucking good for me, mein baby.” Samantha said, as she sped up.
“I’m close!” You yelled in between moans and cries.
As all the sensations came together, she suddenly stopped.
“Sam please!” You cried out to her, the emptiness in you denying you of relief.
“Mmm, fine, since you were nice about it. I’ll give you my cock.”
A few more seconds went by, and then suddenly she flipped you over, your back arching as she set a free hand on the bottom of your spine. You felt yourself shiver as she lined herself up.
Fast, hard strokes were going in and out of you, and you were a moaning mess as the German woman fucked you.
“You like that?” She teased as she brought her other hand around your neck and softly choked you as she sped up fucking you from behind.
“Fuck!” You screamed as you felt yourself melt and cum on her strap. The waves of your orgasm affecting your body. Bliss filling your veins
“Oh fuck.” She said, out of breath, as you shook on top of her cock.
“Jesus you’re good.” Sam continued.
You stayed silent and simply rolled over, still catching your breath.
“Hey, I got you, sweetheart.” Samantha cooed, crawling towards you, as she undid her strap, and then undid your blindfold. As the fabric came off your eyes, you saw the beautiful German in front of you again.
“Can I kiss you?” You asked.
“Of course, darling, anything you want.” Samantha said, leaning herself closer to you. You pressed a kiss on her slightly sweaty forehead and fell backwards.
“Can we shower and eat?” You asked, as your stomach growled from how much physical activity you just did.
“Anything. Want me to shower with you, and help you feel comfortable?” Sam asked, rubbing your arms up and down, smiling.
“Please.” You said weakly, struggling to get up, as your legs shook violently beneath your wrecked core.
“Hmm, I went hard on you, I’m sorry.” Samantha apologized as she led you to the bathroom.
“s’okay” You softly said, kissing her hand.
You pressed a kiss to her forehead again, and then turned the water on.
She immediately hopped in with you, scrubbing the dirt and filth of the day off, alongside the post-sex sweat and oil.
“You’re so pretty.” Samantha said, looking down at you.
“You are!” You said back.
The banter continued as you bathed each other under the hot water.
“Ready to eat?” Samantha inquired, smiling at you.
You nodded and ran to the kitchen after putting on some pajamas that Samantha handed to you.
“Sandwich?” She asked, holding a jar of strawberry jam in her left hand, a butter knife and peanut butter in her right hand.
You smiled and nodded as she made the two of you sandwiches.
After eating, you felt your body get tired.
“Sam, should I sleep on the couch, or with you?” You asked, yawning.
She poured the neglected wine-filled glasses from earlier back into the bottle as she thought.
“You can sleep with me, I tend to take the blankets though.” She responded with a chuckle.
You made your way back to the bedroom and flipped the comforter up, wiggling underneath the surface on which you’d been obliterated by the Germanic woman.
She soon laid down next to you under the covers, taking you in her arms.
You felt your eyes grow heavy, and you fell asleep in Samantha’s arms, the German night taking you.
Sorry for the long oneshot!!! It’s my first one and I really like Samantha so I figured I would try writing something for her! 💕
hi, this is a poem i wrote. lots of angst, buckle up.
i act like i’m happy.
when she tells me about him.
i pretend like i don’t spend every day hoping.
hoping that he will do something wrong.
and she’ll forget about him.
or maybe that i will do something right.
and she will finally notice me.
like she noticed him.
i hear how great he is.
how sweet and funny he is.
how hot he is.
how nervous he makes her.
and how he gives her butterflies.
i hate how she talks about his appearance.
i hate that she likes it.
i hate it because i could never look like that.
and she’ll never call me pretty like him.
i fake my excitement when she gushes about him.
when she tells me they’re finally together.
i want to be happy for her.
i want to feel as happy as she is.
but i keep wanting it to be me.
i wish she wasn’t with him all the time.
i wish she would make time for me again.
i wish she was happy with me like she is with him.
i wish i could be as good as him.
i wish i could make her that happy.
i wish she gushed to her friends about me.
i wish she wanted to spend every second with me.
i wish those butterflies were because of me.
i wish she wanted to hold my hand.
and lay next to me while neither of us can fall asleep.
i wish she would find excuses to see me.
i wish she missed me.
i wish she loved me.
(my blog is turning into a place where i just vent my feelings. yeah it’s been a rough week.)
(hope you enjoyed, here’s my Masterlist for more :)
thank you for making me feel safe enough to fall in love again. ♥️
real love is your ldr gf buying minecraft for you so you can play together
Dark Galadriel was 100% part of my gay awakening as a child
As a Druid, Reani will live a very long time, so I’m really glad that Essek will seek her out.
life update :)
got a cat (her name is korra) and I moved into my own place! all by my lonesome! I’ve been working every other day and been busy getting unpacked, so haven’t been active on here in a minute
I’m sorry you have a problem??? Why not kiss me about it!!!
A peer recently asked my girlfriend and I what what identify as (in a highly condescending and antagonistic way having just been extremely transphobic to a friend of ours who he most definitely had a thing for). I replied the usual way, first by saying no<3 then by informing him that I am indeed 17 rats with claustrophobia in a trench coat. My beautiful girlfriend on the other hand flipped the fucking table and tore that little shit to *pieces*. I love that woman so very much 💕
Please stop saying shit like “lesbians don’t like penis” because I’d gladly date a trans woman or AMAB non-binary person.
Sexuality is about who you fall in love with and your genitals have nothing to do with that. Lesbians like people who aren’t men; and some people who aren’t men have penises. Same thing with Gay Men who date trans men
Found this chat for you on Tumblr
For any Sapphics who wants a safe place to vent and just be themselves!!
I want to have new hair colors every day.
Bela: Mother, I bring you fresh prey!
Alcina: Well, let's see who's behind the mask, shall we?
Alcina: takes off Ada's mask and Ada tosses her head defiantly
Alcina: starts blushing furiously and motions over to her daughters and they form a football huddle in the corner
Alcina: Why did you fail to mention to me how gorgeous she is? I would have dressed better!
Really wanna be sleeping naked in bed while my partner admires my body and starts to feel me up because they can’t help themselves. Trailing their finger tips down my back and hips and swiping a thumb across my lips before kissing me lightly at first and then deep and slowly, while their wandering hands find their way to my pussy and they start to finger me slowly, gradually getting faster as i start to moan louder, then they lose all patience and get on top of me and fuck me awake
“I love you,” ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?
remember laying in the sand
my nose and cheeks so cold they were numb
the sound of waves filling my ears —or was it the rush of my blood?
the stars gazing down at us —in awe of our love.
we’re just two kids, we don’t know anything
we can’t be sure of anything.
but i know
i’m sure about you.
•Click for quality•
AU in which Yue grew up living, without the moonspirit. joins the Gaang to break off her betrothal to Hahn.
[I.D This is a digital painting of Yue and Katara from the tv show Avatar the Last Airbender. Both girls are drawn to be in their late teens and are sharing a moment at sunset. Yue is saying "I remember thinking" in reference to her thoughts while Katara duelled Pakku. Yue is wearing her dark blue dress (deel) with a 3/4 sleeve light blue tunic. She has arm coverings and is wearing her brown hair up in her regular style. She is drawn to be leaning against a wall, with her arms brought up beneath her chin and is looking out in a shy manner with a slight blush while speaking. Katara is wearing her book 1 robe with a wooden belt. Her hair is loose with only her signature loopies keeping her hair from her face. She is drawn to be sitting atop the wall that Yue is leaning onto. Katara looks down to Yue on her right with her face drawn up in emotion. End I.D]
the tension between me and the obviously queer worker at the pottery painting place as he kept complimenting everything about me (earrings, outfit) and i complimented his tiny pinback button of his LEOPARD GECKO NAMED GIZMO THAT HE FREAKING PAINTED HIMSELF!!!!!!