my favorite thing in superhero au dsmp fics is when we hear about a hero/vigilante/villain who's identity is supposed to be secret but to anyone who's watched any dsmp stream ever can easily tell who it is.
oh golly gosh i wonder who the vigilante "enderwalk" who has teleportation powers is! there's no way it could possibly be tommy's best friend and roommate, ranboo!
#i sound sarcastic but i love this trope #however it does mean no dramatic reveals unless the name is creative enough #i was reading a fic and it was like 'the vigilante duo Nuke and Ender' i wonder who they could be #dsmp#mcyt#dream smp#ranboo#tommyinnit #this also works with common names for them - #like 'oh my god i wonder who the hero siren could be?? no way it could be wilbur the man who comes into tommy's shop sometimes!' #and i eat it up every time #can you tell i love superhero aus? #also like 'the angel of death? it couldnt possibly be tommy's sweet pseudo adoptive father philza minecraft!'
tonight I’m having a stress. I’d like someone to knock me out into a coma to sleep for fifty years pls.
#my brother’s threatening to punch my door through and beat me up ahah #my dad’s started with the gaslighting again ahah when does it end #college are threatening to kick me out because I can’t find the motivation to do my work anymore #help#like #me fearing for my life in the middle of the motorway because this man can’t accept that I wanted to go out with my friends #imagine being stuck in a car doing 80mph with a man who has anger issues and keeps slamming the breaks and smirking at you #imagine being followed to meet your friends and him saying there’s nothing wrong about it and wondering why you’re sobbing #lying on the bathroom floor #dizzy with panic #this man raising his voice that you can’t be trusted and you’ve broken his trust #thinks we’re stupid and naive and need to wake up #me locking myself in the bathroom for two hours in a towel because I sobbed my heart out in the shower #only for him to make a joke of it when you refuse to speak to him #this is gonna be deleted in the morning #just need to get it. out
#thats all i can say Head.In.Hands #look at my client dawg hes is going to jail #at least you could get out of a guilty theft charge ah man #this was a complete shock wow i was wondering why that trial was so short #kae.txt
Today I’m solidifying my interpretation of The Old Witch Sleep and the Good Man Grace, specifically the roles played by the various characters. Enjoy my rambling!
When first looking at the title, it seems that the old witch sleep will be the villain of the song -- it sounds like a fairytale, after all. This seems to be confirmed by the first few lines:
There’s a fire burning / And I’m learning to be / So much more than my tiredness / so much more than that old witch sleep wishes.
It seems straightforward: the singer/protaganist is learning to move past his tiredness, presumably against the old witch sleep’s designs. But then we have the next line:
She kisses my eyelids / And I breathe
Suddenly, she’s not so bad. This sounds almost reassuring, like she is a mother reminding her child to breathe. Indeed, throughout the next verse she takes on almost a reassuring tone (though it’s unclear how the hollow folk relate to her, whether they are her friends or enemies or simply co-denizens of the realm of sleep, and their presence makes everything a bit creepier):
You don’t have to be brilliant ... It’s ok / They’re just shadows searching for light / They can’t stay
Then, in the next verse, we get an interesting juxtaposition of what I think appears to be good advice with the word “moan,” somewhat bringing her characterization back towards something more fairytale-witch-like.
Sleep now, oh, she says / Tomorrow’s jokes have yet to be laughed at or said / Just rest now, she moans
(Sidenote: Looking through the lyrics again, I can’t quite tell which character is supposed to be saying the first “you are in the earth of me” chorus -- I always assumed it’s the speaker/protaganist, but it looks like it could also be the hollow folk?)
Then we get the amazing tone shift, and suddenly, the good man grace is here. But he isn’t the positive, guiding figure one might expect from the title -- in fact, the first thing he does is leave. What’s more, the protaganist seem to have expected his leaving and even perhaps looked forward to it, suggested by the phrase “at last.”
And I’m lifting my glass / To that last good man grace / Who has left me, he’s left me at last
Then we have this:
You’re better than this / He says as a hand slaps my face as I stand / And say no good man grace / I can’t do this (you can)
Now the good man grace is encouraging as well, but where the old witch sleep was gentle, friendly, and calming he is harsh, antagonistic, full of energy. They seem to be two opposing forces, trying to lead the protaganist in opposite directions, but it isn’t clear which direction is the “correct” one.
(Sidenote: I’m not entirely sure why the good man grace is slapping the protaganist’s face if he’s supposed to have "left me at last” -- perhaps he is no longer by the protaganist’s side and is instead opposing him?)
Then we have this badass verse (the alliteration ahhh!!):
Sleep now, she pleads / You’re not a coward cos you cower / You brave because they broke you / Yet broken still you breathe / So breathe, breathe just breathe
Now the old witch sleep is definitely supportive in some regard -- she’s encouraging and reassuring the protaganist -- but we are also told that she “pleads,” perhaps implying that she is losing control over the protaganist.
Then there’s another verse about the hollow folk, in which the protaganist “toasts to their talents and forgives them at last” -- and then, for the rest of the song, there is nothing. There is no “he” or “she,” no hollow folk, no references to character’s names or designations. There is only “you,” “I,” and “they.”
I’d always assumed the “you” to be singular, perhaps addressing the protaganist’s anxiety, but I just realized that it could also be plural, referring to all the characters previously mentioned in the song. “Those folks,” as well, could mean either outside observers who know the protaganist or the assorted characters we’ve been introduced to so far.
We also have the line which, in my head, is key to the whole thing: Don’t you think I look pretty / Curled up on this bathroom floor.” This is perhaps the only concrete reference to the real world in the entire song, and it says a lot about the context in which the whole thing happens. It suggests, to me at least, that the whole thing is happening internally while the protaganist is battling his inner demons.
The disappearance of the other characters is fascinating to me. It is as though the protaganist, who has been hounded by these voices in his head throughout, is now making his decision and taking his turn to speak. They have been telling him what to do for so long, but now he turns the balance of power around. He is in charge. They have to deal with him, not the other way around. He is leading. They are all in his head -- he is their earth. They are in the earth of him. He is larger and stronger and more beautiful than any of them.
TLDR: I would argue that the old witch sleep and the good man grace are personifications of internal and opposing forces or urges leading the protaganist in different directions, and the song resolves with the protaganist retaking his power from them and remembering his agency.
(Sidenote: I still haven’t been able to work out why the good man grace is called by that name. The old witch sleep is pretty straightforward -- she wants the protaganist to rest and seems to represent calm and passiveness -- but as far as I can work out the good man grace represents energy and aggression, not things usually associated gracefulness. If anyone has thoughts on this I’d love to hear them!)
#the amazing devil #the old witch sleep and the good man grace #joey batey #people said they wanted to hear me ramle so here you go! #thank you for the encouragment #i might make a nicer version of this sometime but for now have me figuring things out through the process of writing them #this post is a mess but i had fun #of course i'm sure this is not the only interpretation and i might change my mind later #the wonderful thing about tad is how you can have so many different interpretations and have thema ll be more or less correct #anyway here you go! #enjoy :D
*is thinking inappropriate thoughts about freddie mercury*
#man was LEGGY #but also packing #in conclusion do i wanna blow him or do i want him to blow me #queen#freddie mercury #for a sec i wondered if this was inappropriate but then i rmred #that its freddie mercury were talking abt #and he would NOT care #if anything hed encourage this #so im here to make it everyone elses problem
Riot better take down *that* post. Everyone hates it. I hate it. I think they posted the Ep 4 Act 2 update video to mitigate the chaos lmao...
Edit: they took it down!! The evil has been defeated
#valorant #in case you're wondering #valorant denmark has been in charge of the killjoy takeover. and the most recent one has her at a gallery looking at an nft #wtf man #the comments in the post are pretty nice tho #we all thinking the same thing
#Me: (suddenly considers making EU server) #lmao #I'm still hoping for a Suwabe Junichi character #And Takahiro Sakurai #NAKAMURA YUICHI AND KAMIYA HIROSHI WOULD BE AMAZING TOO... pls @ mihoyo #but MAN I swear if Ayato has long hair my primos are gonna be in Danger shxjjv #I CAN'T BELIEVE U PLAY GENSHIN TOO at least we can have genshin brainrots from time to time #Asks#Birthday Twin#Personal #THE ALT OUTFITS I READ ABOUT THEM TOO I wonder what time they'll be out!! #rly wanna make Jean wear that blazer #like!! MA'AM!!!
Me: okay looks like I got my Colin fixation out finally now I can focus on finishing this anima-
Literally my last remaining braincell with its dying breath: it’s time
Me: Time for w-
#I really like this image #this image fills my veins with serotonin #man the fact this is an offical photo along with the dead red fills my heart with both dread and longing for Roy’s puppet murder simulator #any day now any day now any day now #I wonder what will happen #enjoyroy #secret save tag #dhmis
also going back to ff4, i would like another interlude or wish the interlude included what happened on mt ordeals over those 17 years. i want to know about kain's struggles with defeating the darkness inside him. i want to know if cecil and rosa thought about him.
#ill be honest ive never played interlude but i think it revolves around rydia mostly? idk #and thats fine but like. my man has been up in the mountains for nearly 2 decades. #dont his best friends miss him? have they told ceodore about him? #what about cecil wondering about golbez and fusoya?
hey, i just wanna say that i LOVE your fic and im always excited to read whenever a new chap comes out! heres some fanart of cinth + a lil papyrus
My heart melted when I saw this, it looks absolutely stunning I actually can’t stop staring. Like, how is your art-style so gorgeous AND adorable? Hyacinth looks so good in this!! Look at little papyrus!! And the dirt on him is SUCH a good detail! Thank you so much! I am truly humbled that you’d draw this masterpiece based on a few words I typed into a computer. I’m very happy you like the story, thank you so much again <3 <3
another thing, funny how ppl are so chill and fun last night fr me, all just light hearted and being silly
and now i wake up to drama and discourse
its always like this, i wonder who or what people just woke up to find the vod and watch it, and relay how hurt they are at this specific time frame?
i wonder why its always trending neg bullshit after i go to sleep
i wonder hmmmmm i wonder who hmmmmmmmm
#fr rants #ngl from the 2 years ive been in this fandom #its always after i go to sleep that all yall drama neg discourse pops up #i wonder what time zone that corollates at this specific moment that shows which people u r #btw im in southeast asia soooo guess that how u will #4hrs and 8hrs ago discourse #man #if im gunna b honest #its always u guys #(the neg trending bullshitters btw)
#i’ve been wondering how to get more indepth with all the dads #and i think i’ll just have sep posts for each of them + the dates and little details of how it turns out #like the game every dad’s gonna get 3 dates #+ a first meeting and an epilogue #man… i kinda wanna play it again #haha streamer jay moment?? #asks! #allen dream daddy au
It’s past midnight now and I am tired but I was hanging out with gay people, so it was worth it. Thank you @captain-aralias and @urban-sith for tagging me while I was away.
I’m bouncing between Paradiso 2 and 3 for these tag challenges, but I’m back to e pare stella che tramuti loco, aka Paradiso 3, since I actually finished it yesterday! I finished Paradiso. I need to lie down. Anyway, Paradiso 3 became a thing because the idea of Rosemary got stuck in my head, so to celebrate me finishing the trilogy, have the moment Baz meets Rosemary:
“What’s her name?” I ask.
“Rosemary,” Simon, Emma and Angelo all say at the same time.
“Rosemary,” the name rolls of my tongue, “Rosemary. Suddenly there’s music to the sound of your name!”
“It fits,” Simon says shyly. He stands up and he puts his hand on Rosemary’s back. I know we have a lot to discuss, but Simon’s looking at Rosemary with such love and adoration, as if he can’t believe this has happened. I can’t either.
“Basil and Rosemary. My personal herb garden.”
I snort loudly. What a fucking idiot. But I think of it with affection.
Yes, Rosemary is named... after my sim Rosemary, who in turn is named after the song Rosemary, from the musical How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying. (Fun fact, Srinivasan is also from some of my sims, Rosemary’s distant relatives, the Srinivasan-Morses.)
What does H2$ have in common with my next snippet? Darren Criss. Have some Hold on to that feeling under the cut.
Since they’re busy questioning Kurt, Blaine sees an opportunity to ask Simon and Baz what is going on. He’s clearly interrupting another heated conversation.
“- nothing like it at all! I expected Dalton’s dining hall to be more grandiose from what I’ve seen.”
“Snow, not every school can be as lavish as Watford and yes, that includes Dalton.”
“Uhm, hello?” Blaine just says and he coughs.
Both Simon and Baz turn to him.
“I was just kind of wondering what the plan is. And how did you get those uniforms?” Blaine asks. Then he frowns. “And Watford?”
“Our school,” Baz clarifies, “We go to a magickal boarding school. The room that we transported to your universe is our dorm room. I spelled some of our uniforms to turn them into Dalton blazers.”
“Magical boarding school, like Hogwarts?” Blaine asks without thinking. Some people call Dalton gay Hogwarts.
Baz groans and Simon lets out a laugh.
“I suppose so,” Simon says, and Blaine makes a mental note on this. So they do have Harry Potter in their universe. That is unexpected. What else do the two universes have in common?
#look my 10 generation long sims family tree has over a hundred members #mostly because the savalani-morses was a family of 8 children #and one of the savalani-morses married sara srinivasan which is how we got to the srinivasan-morses #tbh rosemary's branch (aka the adrianna branch) is the only one that is easy to read #cause riley and mae's branches both went places man #mostly mae's #oh in case you're wondering why srinivasan is of importance #i posted it in an earlier snippet #wip wednesday#tagged in
“I love seeing Phil sitting there on the next page, relaxed, in the Batman Café. We’d finished that scene but he had ordered a take-away and was waiting for it.
Later that evening we would have a tremendous row and that was a shock to me. I prefer not to be confrontational but Phil does speak his mind and he felt he was unprepared for an extra scene (since we had time left that night) and that I forced him ‘to do shit work.’ We still shot it, and he was terrific of course, but he wrote me an email at night explaining what made him tick and why he reacted that way. That was so enormously generous towards me! Phil personified acting pure, and would fight anyone that got in his way. He couldn’t help it as he just wouldn’t take doing anything less than 110%.
After that evening we understood each other and we worked together really well, and I loved him so much for that, and for everything else and for being him most of all. He was an extraordinary man in that he was normal AND he was very special.”
-Anton Corbijn writing about Philip Seymour Hoffman in the book Looking at a Most Wanted Man (published July 2014)
#this story is such a wonderful microcosm of phil as an actor and a person #temperamental and generous and sensitive and thoroughly demanding #a most wanted man #philip seymour hoffman #psh#*#anton corbijn#words #'I loved him so much for that and for everything else and for being him most of all' ❤️
Essential Avengers: West Coast Avengers #5: INS AND OUTS!
Prey for the werewolf? Pray for the Avengers!
This cover is really cool...
The issue doesn’t live up to it but dang, this cover. That cover text. The stark blackness.
It’s pretty great, even if I still don’t like the art on West Coast Avengers as much as I do Manhattan Coast Avengers.
So, last times on West Coast Avengers: Tigra has been having some problems with her cat instincts dominating her behavior more and more. She tried to beat up Kraven the Hunter about it but that didn’t really work out. Wonder Man revealed that actually, he did do a crime all the way back in the 60s and it wasn’t his brother. He decides to reveal his guilt to the world on the Johnny Carson show to throw himself before the court of public opinion. And Ultron keeps making ominous prank calls to Hank Pym. Also, they fought a man called Master Pandemonium whose limbs popped off and turned into demons. And Hawkeye aggressively tried to recruit Ben Grimm the Thing for the team.
It sounds like a lot but its mostly a lot of little things. The book is only on its fifth issue. And the stuff that happened in the limited series... hasn’t really been very important to the ongoing.
Anyway, out of all those things, clearly the most pressing thing was Simon Williams Wonder Man’s Johnny Carson appearance.
How did the team take it?
You’re making Hawkeye be the authority in the room. Why would you make him have to do that?
Hawkeye has a big problem that Wonder Man went on national television and announced that he was guilty of a crime he was already accused of in the 60s! That’s going to be bad for the West Coast Avengers’ reputation!
Wonder Man defends himself that he had to do it because the guilt of lying (by omission) to everyone was eating him up and making him anxious and insecure.
Wonder Man: “As an actor, I had access to the Carson show, so I took it as the most direct route -- !”
Hawkeye: “Actor? Actor?? You wanna be real, let’s be real -- you’re a stuntman! People’s knowledge of you comes from your status as an Avenger, first and foremost!”
C’mon, Hawkeye. Stuntmen are essential to the movie-making process and don’t get the respect they deserve.
Don’t lash out out of anger.
Tigra demands to know who made Hawkeye Wonder Man’s keeper.
Hawkeye: “The Vision, Tigra -- Simon’s ‘other self’ -- when he appointed me chairman of this crew!”
I mean. Pretty solid argument.
Tigra then goes on to claim that hey, Hawkeye was a crook once. AND CLEARLY A FAR BIGGER ONE THAN WONDER MAN SO THERE.
Iron Man, the dude crook Hawkeye mostly crooked at, disagrees. I mean, he also sweeps the wrong Hawkeye did do under the rug.
Iron Man: “I was the first one to fight Hawkeye, and he was basically an adventurer who happened to fall in love with the wrong woman.”
Hawkeye: his only flaw was that he was too horny not to do a treason.
But as Mockingbird points out, the issue in question here is Wonder Man loudly announcing that he’s a criminal on television. Something that Hawkeye didn’t do.
The question isn’t whether criminals can turn around and become Avengers. Because the Avengers tend to go with ‘yes’ for that question.
Tigra just shoots back that OBVIOUSLY Mockingbird is just going to side with her husband.
This seems a good place as any to ramble about it for a while but this whole drama confuses me.
It was public that Simon Williams was accused of embezzlement. And that he died in action saving the Avengers. And his resurrection as a zombie happened right in front of the press!
All this drama is predicated on the idea that the in-universe public perception was that Actually Eric Williams Grim Reaper was the one who did the crimes and framed Simon for them.
This has never been mentioned before.
AND, the Avengers had to go hear this misapprehension from Ma Williams so that it could be subverted by Wonder Man revealing the truth.
I just can’t see this false narrative being the public perception.
Simon has no commonly held falsehood about his wrongdoings to correct.
This drama that’s going to drive a lot of character beats in this issue doesn’t make sense in universe!
The Thing is in the next room over with Hank Pym and Firebird. And he snarks about the loud argument taking place right within earshot.
Hank Pym: “You really shouldn’t be listening, Ben!”
The Thing: “Listenin’? I’d have ta be deaf not to listen ta that, Hank!”
Ha. Poor Hank. Trying so hard.
Firebird points out that they’re guests of the (West Coast) Avengers and that she’s only still here because she wants to thank them for their hospitality.
The Thing: “Polite young thing, aren’t you, Firebird?”
Firebird: “Making you an impolite old thing -- Thing?”
The Thing: “Hmmm! You’ve got more sass than ya show, sister!”
Firebird: “If one’s to be a heroine, one has a responsibility as a role model!”
Hank Pym: “Especially when one’s the first Hispanic heroine, eh?”
I like that first exchange. Some decent banter.
But. Is Firebird really the first Hispanic heroine in Marvel? That can’t be right, right? Its 1986 (although I guess she was introduced in 1981).
-some lazy research- Well, it might be true. Supposedly the first Hispanic hero was White Tiger in 1974.
Geez, Marvel. Get on the ball.
A crowd of reports has gathered outside the West Coast Avengers Compound shouting questions through the window.
How’d they even get to the point where they can shout at windows? If the journalists tried this at Avengers Mansion, they’d have gotten security tentacled.
Hawkeye marches the team out to deliver a short statement.
Mostly saying they support Wonder Man and that one mistake shouldn’t control your whole life.
What I find funny is that Iron Man not being happy with all the PR bullshit.
You run a company, you should be used to this kind of damage control.
Anyway, after the reporters get bored and wander off after 45 minutes, Wonder Man stomps off to go be alone on the beach.
Tigra follows Wonder Man down to the beach to comfort him.
And then they start making out.
Uh. I guess they are dating now?
I’m so unclear on it.
Meanwhile, inside the main house of the Compound, Mockingbird and Hawkeye.
Mockingbird: “You’re a real politician, sport, I hear Ronald Reagan got his start around here, too!”
Hawkeye: “Thank you kindly, Bobbi! I --”
Mockingbird: “Of course, you were dead wrong in jumping on Simon!”
Mockingbird backed up Hawkeye in the meeting because she’s a supportive wife. And she’s confronting him with her real opinion in private because she doesn’t want to undermine him.
Her real opinion is that Hawkeye was too hard on Wonder Man.
(Trying to be considerate doesn’t work. Clint thinks she’s undermining him anyway)
Mockingbird: “Hey! I’m your wife, not your flunky!”
Hawkeye: “You’re my teammate, too -- an’ I’m chairman o’ the team!”
Mockingbird: “Oh, yeah? Well, maybe it wasn’t such a good idea for me to be both teammate and wife!”
Hawkeye: “Maybe it wasn’t.”
Mockingbird: “Well, nuts to you, Genghis Khan! You’ve got more in common with Reagan than I thought!”
Hawkeye: “That’s right -- take a hike! See if I care!”
Wonder Man has done what he was created to do all along. Destroy an Avengers team.
There is a power dynamic thing if a married couple is on the Avengers and one of them is the boss. It didn’t really come up with Vision and Scarlet Witch because Vision had other stuff going on but she still got annoyed that he kept making decisions without telling her.
Having married superheroes on a team with their spouse is pretty rare, I think. Having married superheroes is also pretty rare in this era of snapback.
Anyway, the Thing and Firebird are one again one room over from an awkward, loud conversation because they’ve come to say goodbye.
Firebird thanks Hawkeye for the West Coast Avengers’ help with Master Pandemonium but says that she’s going to keep pursuing him on her own. Hawkeye asks her to pass along any leads she gets about Master P because now the (West Coast) Avengers are involved now.
And the Thing says he has to get back to the wrassle.
Hawkeye: “You mean you haven’t made up your mind about my offer yet?”
The Thing: “Made up my mind? I told ya eighty-seven ways already, I ain’t gonna fill the hole in your roster!”
Hawkeye: “So you must be tired o’ that line! Time to change your tune!”
The Thing gets annoyed and storms off, dragging along Firebird so he can give her a ride to town.
But outside the West Coast Avengers Compound, he confides to Firebird that actually, he does like the West Coast Avengers’ style.
The Thing: “If I were gonna join up with anybody, it’d be them! I dunno! Cockeye’s gonna keep askin’ me -- maybe one day I will say yes! But don’t tell him that -- !”
Hawkeye is wearing him down!
I hate to give him credit but he was right about Ben.
What’s interesting though...
Is Firebird looking wistfully off at nothing and thinking “Oh, god -- if only they’d ask me -- !” when she hears about the open spot on the Avengers roster.
She did seem regretful that her team-up with the Rangers never really turned into an ongoing thing.
I’d like Ben Grimm the Thing for the West Coast Avengers (because I like taking characters who are known for one team and seeing how they do outside that context, except for Wolverine) but Firebird seems like she’d be fun too.
Plus, less likely to get wag the dogged by the Fantastic Four book suddenly making grabby hands at Ben.
Anyway, after her fight with Hawkeye, Mockingbird heads down to the beach to fume (good fuming spot, the beach) and runs into a Tigra.
Tigra is upset because she made out with Simon Williams.
But apparently its that she couldn’t control herself.
Tigra: “Suddenly I was all over him! I couldn’t help myself! It’s the cat in me! I told you, it only lives for pleasure, and it’s taking me over! I’m Greer again now! I see what this thing within me did, and it scares me to death -- but what’s worse -- I know I’ll slip back again!”
So I’m not clear what her actual feelings about Simon are. She seemed to like him in the limited series but maybe the cat instincts are pushing her to take the relationship faster than she’s comfortable with? Or maybe she doesn’t like him at all in that way and is uncontrollably horny?
This subplot is uncomfortable.
And Tigra agrees so she reminds Mockingbird that she promised to help her with it.
Mockingbird tells her to chill in her personal bungalow while Mockingbird does some research to get the ball rolling.
Okay! Help Tigra solve her problem plot go!
Meanwhile, Iron Man finds Hank Pym sitting in a dark room and asks him what’s bothering him.
And assumes that Hank is bothered by him dating Jan that time in Avengers.
Hank says, no, that wasn’t a problem, he doesn’t blame anyone for that or hold a grudge for it.
Iron Man tries to get him to open up but the phone rings and Hank excuses himself to take the call.
And its the thing that’s bothering him that he won’t talk about. The constant prank calls from Ultron.
Ultron tries to be creepy and intimidating again but Hank tells him to screw off. Specifically that he refuses to be afraid of Ultron anymore.
Ultron gonna Ultron but he’s not getting the emotional reaction from Hank anymore.
Hank Pym: “So do what you’re going to do, and stop tying up our lines! Someone important might be trying to get through!”
And then he slams the phone down!
SLANG! is a decent sound for slamming a phone, back when phones contained bells for the ringing. Like, I can hear it in my head.
After Hank slams the phone, he notices Tigra hanging in the doorway. And when she throws herself at him, he also notices she’s trembling but then she starts making out with him.
Hank is confused by this because, like me, he though Tigra and Wonder Man had some kind of relationship.
Tigra dismisses Wonder Man, saying that Hank is more handsome and she prefers brains to brawn.
Hank Pym: “Since I was divorced, I’ve only known one woman -- Alice, my lab assistant! I haven’t let myself think --!”
Tigra: “Then don’t! Brains turn me on at the right times -- but not now! Not now -- !”
And she starts making out with him again.
Riiiiiight as Wonder Man happily strolls by the window, oblivious to what’s going on inside, and thinking how cool it is to have a girlfriend.
That’s ice cold panel juxtaposition.
This is supposed to be dramatic, I think, but something so soap operay is really tipping it towards farce.
Anyway, inside ye Avengers Compound, Hawkeye seeks validation that he’s a good leader making good decisions from good decision man Iron Man.
Hawkeye asks if he was right to rake Wonder Man over the coals and Iron Man validates him.
Iron Man: “Absolutely, right, Clint! The Avengers is the oldest super-team -- unless you count the FF, but they’re more a family -- and our reputation is first rate! Our reason for existence is camaraderie, pure and simple! Everyone’s entitled to a personal life -- as I well know -- but we owe it to our comrades not to hurt the group identity! Still, I’m probably biased since I’m a founding member!”
I see you trying to litigate the FF away so the Avengers can be the first superhero team. Too bad X-Men and Avengers had their first issues come out at the same time.
And the X-Men were practicing as a team before their first outing sooooo....
(Not to mention all the older teams retconned into existence. But Avengers goes back to one million BC so I guess they win -shrug-)
Mockingbird comes in looking for Tigra since she wasn’t in her bungalow, where she was supposed to meet her. Neither Iron Man nor Hawkeye have seen her but Hawkeye also gives Mockingbird the cold shoulder.
Mockingbird: “Aw, this is silly, sport! I don’t want to be mad at you!”
Hawkeye: “I don’t want to be mad at you either, Mocky!”
Mockingbird: “Good! Let’s make up!”
Hawkeye: “Kiss and make up!”
And then they start making out.
Ah, those newlyweds. The romance is alive.
Iron Man is still in the room watching this happen and thinks about maybe making a move on Tigra, who he assumes is single.
Speaking of her, Tigra comes in, which solves Mockingbird’s Tigra location crisis.
And Wonder Man also comes in so with everyone here, Mockingbird can explain her genius plan to help Tigra.
Mockingbird: “Tigra wants to overcome the cat side of her personality! She’s told me it was given her by a hidden race of cat people, in the midst of a battle with Hydra -- and a werewolf! Well, it seems to me the most likely person to provide a clue to cat people is a wolf-person, so I ran ‘werewolf’ through the computer -- and found that Jessica Drew -- the ex-Spider-Woman knew one right here in L.A. His, uh, daytime identity is ‘Jack Russel’, and I’ve got the address!”
Hey! It’s Werewolf by Night!
Good guy. Slight case of lycanthropy. Slight major case. He turns into a werewolf, by night.
Although, I’m laughing at what a non-plan this is. ‘A werewolf was adjacent to the cat-people at one point so any werewolf can help us find them. Specifically the closest werewolf because lets not go out of our way!’
Tigra seems equally underwhelmed.
But also pretty indifferent to finding a solution for her problem, considering her desperation earlier.
Then again, she has made out with Hank Pym since then. Uhhhh... I guess what I’m saying is that the scales have tipped towards cat again so she doesn’t really care.
But speaking of, Tigra secretly asks Mockingbird not to say anything about her and Wonder Man getting together, with the excuse that she doesn’t want to embarrass him.
A love triangle? C’mon, Greer! Be better than that!
Elsewhere, Firebird asks the Thing to drop her off at the Bad Side of Town.
So she can make a stop at an EVIL BOOKSTORE.
At least, she thinks her Detect Evil senses are tingling similar to when she detected evil on Master Pandemonium.
The not very evil looking proprietor hasn’t heard of Master Pandemonium but Firebird asks him to “please reconsider your answer” and he does because she asked politely by turning into a giant fire bird inside a bookstore.
He really doesn’t know any Master Pandemonium but tells her if she’s interested in demons, there’s a classic demon-ish book called the Darkhold that she can check out.
He doesn’t have the book himself, because its very rare, but tells her that a Jack Russell was reputed to have a copy.
(And an editor’s note informs that while that had been true, Doctor Strange now had the book. Womp womp.)
The Avengers (West Coast) arrive at Jack Russel’s apartment and find... Michael Morbius, the Living Vampire??
No, the living human.
For the time being, he has been cured of his bloodlust. So now he’s just Perfectly Normal Human Man With Fangs.
Hawkeye has a silver-tipped arrow prepared just in case but Morbius lets him know that silver didn’t really do anything for or to him even when he was a Living Vampire.
Anyway, Morbius is here to help Jack Russel, Werewolf by Night.
Exceptttt Werewolf by Nightism actually is supernatural and Morbius’ expertise is all in MAD SCIENCE!
So he’s not really been able to cure him.
But he happily exposits to the random superheroes what the deal with Jack Russel is.
Jack can transform into a werewolf (by night) any night. And he can retain his human consciousness. The one Essential Werewolf-by-Night volume I have covers when that happened. He got to have a crossover with Iron Man, which Iron Man alluded to earlier in the comic.
But on full moon nights, Jack transforms into an even wolfier werewolf and loses all rational thought.
He’s been dealing with that by locking himself in a secure cell every full moon but Morbius is getting worried that it won’t be sufficient since Jack seems to be getting stronger with each full moon.
And that’s enough ominous foreshadowing for the Werewolf by Night to burst through the door, grab Tigra who had been sniffing around it while Morbius was expositing, and then escape through the window.
Tigra: “I HATE THIS!”
Also, HA HA HA WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT DESIGN!
Oh Jack Jack Jack...
You look ridiculous.
The Avengers (West Coast) jump out the window after Werewolf Right Now and Tigra.
Tigra manages to wriggle free and Iron Man repulsors the Werewolf into a light pole.
The Werewolf grabs the light pole and hits Iron Man with it, to little effect. Iron Man boasts that his armor is too tough for that so Werewolf Right Now gives Iron Man a Stoogin’.
Nyuck nyuck nyuck.
The auto-shields that protect Tony’s eyes and mouth holes slam down but the damage is done to Tony’s face skin.
He’s gonna need stitches when this is all said and done. And he’s out of the fight while he flies off somewhere private to check his injuries.
Hawkeye pulls out the silver arrow that he’s been apparently carrying around this whole time just in case he ever had to fight werewolves or vampires.
Like when it turned out he was carrying a lead foil arrow for years just in case he ever fought Radioactive Man again and it came in handy against DC’s Captain Atom, that one time Hawkeye fought DC’s Captain Atom.
Anyway, the shot misses because of the Werewolf moving when Iron Man’s face shields slammed on his fingers.
And Hawkeye was prepared with a silver arrow all this time just in case he ever fought werewolves or vampires but only one because he only has the one arrow.
The Werewolf tries to attack Hawkeye, probably because he shot a silver arrow at him, but Mockingbird beats him up with her battle staves. And then Wonder Man kicks his ass. And then Hawkeye sets him on fire.
Honestly, I just feel bad for Werewolf by Night right now.
And I’m not the only one. Tigra takes offense at Morbius describing the Werewolf as “an inhuman killing machine!”
The Werewolf on Fire runs towards the crowd so Wonder Man tackles him and beats his ass some more.
The Werewolf (by Night) is hypothetically dangerous but I feel more like the Avengers are bullying him. Wonder Man could have just held him down or something. This just seems mean.
Tigra tries to get Werewolf to run away, pulling the Harry and the Hendersons thing “Stay away! I don’t love you! Run!”
I mean, she probably doesn’t love him but give it five seconds with how she’s been written.
Weirdly, even though Werewolf is clearly showing a fascination with Tigra (broke through a reinforced door to get to her, jumped out a window with her, stops and stares at her after being belted by Wonder Man), Wonder Man decides he’s actually mindless just like he was as a zombie!
Geez, Simon. Not everything is about you.
Despite the fight being one-sided, the fact that the Werewolf is still up makes Hawkeye wonder what it’ll take to stop him.
Which is when Firebird shows up and sets the Werewolf on fire again.
She’s here to talk to Jack Russell and is shocked that that’s why the Avengers are here too AND that Jack Russell is a werewolf.
Anyway, to answer Hawkeye’s question.
What it would take to stop Jack Russell Terrier is like two more attacks. Firebird surrounding him in fire and then Wonder Man pounding him in the chest.
Then the Werewolf is down and the crowd is thrilled with Simon Williams. Because he’s a “real guy” who is strong, as opposed to the Hulk, who is green?
Tigra is upset by how things shook out, turning away and demanding Wonder Man not touch her when he asks her if she’s alright.
When Firebird and Hawkeye compare notes and Hawkeye mentions that he wanted to ask Jack Russell about the cat people and now they’re going to nee to wait until he regains consciousness, Morbius goes “You should have mentioned this earlier, sir! I myself have had an encounter with the cat people!”
And further mentions that since Jack was werewolf’d the entire time during his own enncounter with the cat people, he doesn’t actually know shit about them.
Hawkeye is unamused that this half-assed lead actually turned up some real info, even if the actual lead was a dead end.
Hawkeye: “You, lady, are luckier than anybody has a right to be!”
Mockingbird: “And you, sir, are just jealous!”
Meanwhile, back at the West Coast Avengers Compound...
Ultron: “You were right to put me in my place! I’ve been an immature fool, and I want to bury the hatchet... father!”
Hmmmm.... no, its still ominous if you say it like that!
Also: DUN DUN DUNNNNN!
Follow @essential-avengers and watch this new wrinkle unfold, as wrinkles are known to do. Also like and reblog because you want to know about this quest for cats.
Why yes, I am allowed to write FF15 fic where Ifrit is essentially the personfication of Ardyn’s feelings so whenever he’s like “I don’t care about this person” but Ifrit decides to be a total gentle giant with them, *we* know what’s up.
#babbles#ff15 #just want the big giant naked man on fire to be sweet okay #i want him to be gentle in a way ardyn feels like he cant be dammit #also if youre wondering if this is in regards to the ardyn cor rarepair it is