It’s one of those days, It’s one of those nights.
I feel exhausted. Every single bone in my body aches.
My mind so blank, yet so suffocated with thoughts and ideas
and regrets and sadness and misery…
It feels like the day has lasted a century, one that just
won’t end.
Everything makes me miserable and human contact, it
irritates me.
I just want to be alone. I already feel so lonely, so I may
as well just drown in my loneliness.
I want to cry and scream and shout and break things and yell
and rip my heart out of my chest, so I stop feeling.
I just want to stop feeling.
It’s too much.
There is just too many feelings and emotions.
And there is no guide book. No one tells you what to do with
them. How to handle them.
And I’m just tired of having to figure it out. I just want it
to be simple. I just want it all to make sense and be fair.
I want things my way for a change. I want my day to go
according to my plans and my emotions. I don’t want any surprises; I don’t want
anybody to fuck it up. I don’t want people to tell me what to do. I don’t want
to be nice to people.
I just want happiness. True, utter happiness. I want people
to look at me and see a thousand shining stars in my eyes. I want my smile to
light up their sky and make them jealous of just how happy I am.
…
It’s okay though, I’m sure tomorrow will be a new day.
