“I love you.”
[B] blinks, blankness etched behind her eyes.
“I’m...not actually her, you know.”
“I love you.”
[B] blinks, blankness etched behind her eyes.
“I’m...not actually her, you know.”
“I believe in the resistance as I believe there can be no light without shadow; or rather, no shadow unless there is also light.”
— Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid’s Tale
I hope to be the warm soft blanket that hugs you at night as you fall asleep and the warm sunshine in your eyes when you wake up. I hope to be that mysterious smile that pops on your lips all day unexpectedly and the resting place of your soul when you are tired. I hope to be the twinkling of starlight in your heart when at night you think me, when at night you dream me.
falling for you ; hrj x reader
; renjun x reader
; fluff, volleyball player! renjun, high school! au, crush! au, mutual feelings(?) ft. the rest of the '00 line
; 1.6k words
; not used to change, renjun, always sticked to schedules and routines in his life. but then came his feelings towards you and now he's falling, or he thinks he is.
Renjun strives for stability.
He enjoys the same routine that consists of jogging from three to five am, going back to the dorm to prepare breakfast, stopping by Haechan’s dorm, and walking together to class. Lunch, after-school practice, another jog around the campus from five to six pm, dinner with Haechan, homework, and an hour for his own leisure before heading to bed at nine pm.
Whatever happens in between is usually one of Haechan’s plans in an attempt to spice things up in his life. Whether it’s reading a manga together, buying ice cream at the convenience store down the street, or visiting a comic shop. Renjun is very much thankful for Haechan.
Renjun also strives for the best.
He takes pride in his skills in volleyball and acknowledges his talent and flaws. Honing them like a sharp knife through whetstones, he polishes himself and cuts through the best defense systems. He is the ace of Dream, and with his teammates behind him, he knows they’ll get far. Renjun is very much thankful for the trust his teammates set upon him.
Renjun hates uncertainty.
Well- hate is too strong of a word and dislike would be too weak for his opinions.
Renjun despises uncertainty.
Especially when there’s you- the current root of all his “problems”. Despite his tendency to be blunt and straightforward statements, uncertainty always left a distasteful feeling in his mouth.
Realizing that his wavering feelings for you have now shattered the routine he built to perfection. Long gone are sleeping on time and hello to staying up with you crowding his thoughts. Head full of the lingering scent of your perfume and the same voice playing in his head.
Renjun hated it. He despised how you orbit around his mind, bouncing through the walls of the gray matter inside his skull. He often catches himself smiling at the thought of you- before a bitter scowl fills his face and an incredulous and slightly constipated look pasted on his face.
But that was the least of his worries, such feelings could be fixed (a term he used to convince himself these are temporary). It’s not that Renjun doesn’t believe in relationships or think it’s nothing but a distraction, deep inside he’s aware that he craves affection. It’s the vague emotions clouding his heart making him think twice.
Then again, Renjun is thankful for his teammates.
“What did you say?” Haechan squinted his eyes in the hopes to hear his captain’s words clearly. With a blank look- almost as if he put on a mask void of emotions Renjun spoke once more.
“Do I like y/n?”
The rest of the team tilted their head to the side, in confusion. “D-did you perhaps ask us. . . if- if you like someone?” Jeno asked once more to make sure of his words, sighing in disbelief.
“It’s not just someone, it’s y/n.” Renjun pushed the question once more and glanced at each of his teammates.
The silence was deafening. Renjun’s statement was too loud and too quiet at the same time, no one spoke and they left each other contemplating on the next words the ace will say.
“I need help. How do I know I like y/n?” Collective gasps were heard throughout the gym and one by one they slowly left the gym leaving Renjun with Haechan and Jaemin.
“How about we sleep over your question and. . .think- think about it you know?” Jaemin, the first to talk regarding the revelation that their stoic volleyball captain has now developed feelings for someone.
“Sleep? I hardly get any sleep these nights. I want to confirm my feelings now so I can finally sleep peacefully.”
That’s when the pair noticed the bags under his eyes, mostly due to the lack of sleep like he said. Jaemin took a glance at Haechan and started to talk telepathically at each other.
Haechan sighed before pushing Renjun out of the gym, “You see Injun-ah feelings can’t be confirmed in a night, these requ-”
“It’s been weeks, Haechan, I can’t lose sleep over such a trivial matter.” Renjun retorted with a firm stance using his lack of sleep as a front to confirm his feelings.
“Okay, how about I give you some manga about crushes and you can study and read them. Only you can confirm your feelings Renjun, let’s stop by my room and I’ll give you books you can read, and next week- next week we’ll talk about this matter again.”
Haechan now sounds like a mom scolding his child for misbehaving, dragging the latter to his room, and sending him off with a tower of romance mangas.
Renjun is smart, he can understand such concepts by himself.
Feeling accomplished, Haechan patted himself on the back and went to bed.
Renjun on the other hand went inside his dorm and began to bury himself in the books he brought along. “If I’m not sleeping at least I get my feelings in line.”
One volume. And another turns to five and in the blink of an eye, a week has passed. Renjun returned to his routine but instead of sleeping at nine, he pushed it an hour later to make time for reading which helped him sleep.
The first nights were hard, after finishing a volume of manga he finds himself falling asleep and now you appear to become more vivid in his mind. Invading his dreams as romantic scenarios play on repeat while Renjun mindlessly sleeps which results in him waking up flustered and warm.
Passing by you on the campus became frequent; it's as if the universe has its way to bring you together. Now everywhere Renjun looked there was you, in the corner of his sight you occupied a chunk of his thoughts, and as much as he hated to admit he found himself anticipating your presence.
By the end of the week, you managed to invade his thoughts and heart which only strengthened his theory and confirmed his feelings for you. With no time to waste, Renjun went to look for you. The second practice was over, he’s telling you what you’re doing to him.
Jaemin informed him beforehand that you are staying late since you are assigned to clean the room. Locating the room he opens the door abruptly to see you pushing chairs back to the tables.
You stand straight feeling the intimidating aura around him, you watch him exhale a sigh of relief before taking a large step in your direction. On instinct you back away giving him space, every step Renjun takes is a step backward from you.
Unknowingly your feet hit the legs of the chair and like a cliché scene, Renjun remembers from the manga he’s been reading you stumble backward.
Renjun is a volleyball player for a reason, and with swift movements, he managed to catch your fall and brought you up to your feet. “You should watch where you’re going. I don’t want you falling just like how I fell for you.”
Silence. Complete, utter silence from the both of you paired with the obnoxious loud ticking of the unlubricated ceiling fan. You blink your eyes incredulously, “What?”
“I mean. . . I do want you to fall for me, it would be sad to find out that my feelings are one-sided. But I mean my words y/n.”
You adjust your posture and back away. “What are the words Renjun? About me falling to the ground or you. . . you f- falling for me?” Your voice thins out at the end unsure of what you just heard.
“Both. I don’t want you to fall, it’s dangerous just like how you did to me. You enamored me with those charms, I just want to know how you did it.” Renjun spoke with the most bored and plain-looking face he could muster up. His palms were sweating inside his pockets in extreme nervousness.
“Is this- is this your confession perhaps?” You try to piece things together, like the subtle clues Jaemin left out of nowhere, and their middle blocker Haechan approaching you during lunch once.
“Yes. This is my confession.” Renjun blurts out as sweat drips from the side of his forehead. And just as Renjun was losing hope from this failed confession your bubbly laugh bursts the silence in the air.
“You know, you need to work on your confession more. That was unlike any other, but I understand what you mean. Do you want me to fall for you, Renjun?”
Renjun stares at you and you don't miss the soft gaze he set upon you. The once awkward silent air was now filled with a warm feeling that spread all over your body, leaving goosebumps all over your skin.
“I do. I fell for you, I like you, and I want to mean something to you.”
His way with words caught you off guard, Renjun, who would’ve thought. You smile at him, this time it’s you walking in his direction.
Renjun stiffened at the proximity between the two of you, his feet stuck to the floor preventing him from backing away. Your face gets closer to his and all the thoughts clouding his mind have been wiped away.
You face him and whisper something in his ear before leaving him inside the classroom, legs shaking and breaths heavy.
Taking a moment to himself Renjun meditates in an attempt to calm his bouncing heart and mind whirring into different ideas and possibilities.
Renjun never falls- literally and figuratively.
Yet you managed to be the root of all his problems. The person who made him fall, there was no doubt that Renjun fell and will still be falling for you.
“You are so full of all of the life I wish I had.”
Wait Until I Tell Them I'm Black... These days, I respond to people with GIFS. This is the level of conversation that many people are able to engage in. It's fine to disagree with my idea - but why come to the conclusion that I have to be white because I hold these opinions. I'll eventually tell them I'm black. This is simply just too fun 😂. . . The Symposium : Berlin . . . . #PresentTransparent . . FREE Preview of book in bio : . . . HumanityinPoetry.wordpress.com. . . #Follow @rhetoricrush @heartofpoets #rhetoricrush #Quotes #Poetry #heartofpoets #poetrycommunity #writersofig #amwriting #authorlife #writer #bookworm #songwriter #thoughts #writers #writerscommunity #motivation #poetsofinstagram #wordporn #poetsofig #spokenword #qotd #nanowrimo #igbooks #creativewriting #poet #wordgasm #writerscorner #amediting #inspiration https://www.instagram.com/p/CPAb_T0Jhpx/?utm_medium=tumblr
Damn man, hearing about the industry in KPOP regarding ghost writers / students being taken advantage of from producers who don't even pay them off & keep royalties for themselves & foreigners is a scum bag move.
That needs to be changed, ghost writers should be credited & paid
Do you all know about Palestine? Do you all know what's happening there?
Please help and spread awareness social media is their only hope. And yes this isnt about jew vs muslim nor this is about hamas this is about israel gov. Doing ethnic cleansing. Apartheid. And killing hundreds of innocent palestines in gaza it's been a week since all this started.
They are boming Gaza everyday.
Please I beg you dont let another holocaust happen spread awareness. I know many of you supported BLM. It is the same thing as BLM. This is about HUMAN RIGHTS.
For anyone who dont know message me or follow @subhi.taha , @eye.on.palestine @muslim on instagram.
To educate yourself and spread awareness dont let media brainwash you!
time to heal.
Don’t give them a taste of their own medicine. They already know what it tastes like. Give them a taste of your own medicine. If they lied, let your medicine be honesty. If they played with your emotions, let your medicine be maturity. Don’t be afraid to be yourself, even if it means removing yourself from lives that you want to be in. You are, no doubt, worthy of being valued for who you are. So be who you are.
- Najwa Zebian
Happiness is a perfume that
you can not pour on others
a few drops of yourself!
Bir hayat izledim gözlerinde. Tehlike doluydu. Bense bile bile kayboldum kahvelerinde... Öyleki kendimi buldum sende.
My mother said to me during the toughest days of my life.
“Life is an echo. What you send out, comes back. What you sow, you reap. What you give, you get. What you see in others, exists in you. Remember, life is an echo. It always gets back to you. So give goodness. ”
Remember this in all that you do,
Whatever you send out will come back to you.
That which you send out will come back to thee,
Harmful or blessing.
It returns times three.
its the kind of pain
that sits in your chest
and claws its way to your throat
just to keep you silent
have you ever seen a sunflower
dim at the sight of the sun?
You reap what you sow
Standing in an open field.
Free as the east wind, light as fresh snow.
Where it’ll lead her, no one knows.
Dreams are powerful... Buy Trapped: Winter HERE:https://amazon.com/dp/1790652324
Getting lost in a book, one of the hardest feeling to explain, but one of the most precious moments to enjoy. You don’t ever get lost in your book, never lose yourself inside the stories written down on the bound pages, you find yourself. You find your courage, your fear, and your friends. Your mind shows you all that you read, whether people or plants, all in the place you want to be. You put yourself in this world, imagine yourself as each character, see yourself living their life. Living your life. Where your courage being but a thought away, where justice prevails, and you can help save the day. You find yourself in the vicious wars and people screaming, in the placid forest with fairies dancing through the trees. Compelled to turn the pages, to finish the story, then find another. You get so mad at the author, when someone dies, because you loved them. Slowly and surely, you let yourself fall for their character, you let yourself care about them and bring them into your life, for them to die, for you to not be able to do anything about it. Just sit there, unable to help, unable to fix or do anything, just sit there, and watch them die. When the best friends finally confess, you are so happy because you were there with them, watching the slow-burn friendship to romance, knowing it was going to happen but unable to say anything about it. These books are not stories, open and closed for your entertainment and leisure, as a way to pass through your boredom. They are your lives, they are universes, pasts and future loves, no matter what you wish your life were like, and no matter what your life is like, and no matter how different you wish it were, you always have an escape into any world, any life you want, it’s all there waiting for you. You’re families from magic schools, secret civilizations, underground bunkers, and everyday adventures. All your friends, families, and acquaintances save the stories of their lives onto paper for you, so that when you come back to them, you will know it all, all the happiness, sadness, pain, and delight of their adventures. Bask in the pools of literature given to you, the stories of love, danger, crime, fantasy, and commitment. You see that monsters are not quite what you believe them to be, not the horned, winged beast from your bedtime stories, not that ones that look different, and how do you learn this, you learn, you learn this when one such of these ‘monsters’ is on his knees, finally defeated by the angels of evil, unable to protect the families and children of his kingdom anymore, the Wishmaker, the Resurrectionist. With a final raise of his head, he turns to the angels of evil and says “Dead souls dream only of death, small dreams for small men. It is life that expands to fill worlds. Life is your master, or death is. Look at you. you are a lord of ashes, a lord of char. You are filthy with your victory. Enjoy it, Joram, for you will never know another. You are lord of a country of ghost, and that is all that you will ever be” and what did the angel say? An angel, supposed to beauty and love, yet a murderer of thousands, he laughed, “It shall be a country of ghost, I promise you that. A county of corpse. No beast shall crawl but that it drags a weight of shackles and is so scored by the lash it hardly raises its head”. Reading shows you the truth, the truth of men, and their monsters, the women, and their dreams.