A fatal flaw of mine,
If only words could utter and define
This plays bigger than you and I
It’s my heart, my instinct to trust
Fall hard amongst those who only lust
Maybe it’s the broken in me
Not by them but what was unseen
Right there, you see
Is the sadness of the epitome
Hoping to mend ways,
I thought a relationship could be
From parents, others and codependence
Maybe it’s only with me
A fatal flaw of mine,
If only words could utter and define
As it plays bigger than you and I
My empathy, the race against time
Unknowingly knowing the pain
Some call it insane
But energy is greater than the shame
A fatal flaw of mine,
Is priceless moments racing against time
It’s the beat of what makes me alive
The drumming of my heart
The love and how easily I’m torn apart
It’s where empathy lies,
Emotionally connected with ties
I’ve tried to leave the power
But to end the fatal flaw,
At any given hour
Would be more than fatal,
So I’ll continue to feel too much
Ignore the past
Fuck what was my crutch
Let what’s felt be felt
Attached to these feelings,
I’ll always choose this over all
Even if it means I love hard and easily fall
My fatal flaw would be to give up on me, to stay down when I’ve fallen countless, to let this man continue a warpath I’m no longer living, to make my heart broke, and lungs filled with smoke. Choosing him over me. His words, his manipulative ways, torturous game, and inevitable signs of deceit of the person I see, the person I am, and where I want to be. My fatal flaw was what once lead me to using drugs because I’d feel too much, and need to feel nothing at all. I had this thought yesterday, where I wanted him to say the word “again”, again, and again, and again; over and over for every hour he had played his ways with me, fully knowing this would take longer than days because it was insane. Then, I remembered this makes me insane. To think I can speak to someone not even human, rather a person with no humanity of living covered with stains on a heart that can’t beat for good; using telepathic powers unavailable in my mind and convince him, make him believe his own words, or think that he could change because of this admittance. That would be the start of another fatal flaw that I won’t give into because I’m not him. I thank God for keeping me away, I was never meant to stay.
Because the alternative to the feeling
Would be drugs work, the deceiving
Some might call it insane
To desire something real,
Even if it’s pain
But it’s just my heart, I’m unable to tame
The love I have,
Has become strength
Made as a feeling
It’s the reason I’ve chosen believing
With faith that conquers all other meaning
A fatal flaw of mine,
Was trusting those
Who failed me every time
Thinking the best of them,
While thinking the worst of me
The neglect of the plans that deceive,
When they were only after the receive
Now all that are left,
Are the memories
The ones that sink their teeth
Replaying as the blood seeps
Bleeding from every pore
Forgiveness still finds me more
Yet here I am,
Wanting sharpness to shed,
These tears that I have bled
Because it seems,
Forgiveness can’t even mend
A fatal flaw of mine,
Would be to give up,
But I see this as a sign
I won’t give in
Not today
Not this time
I won’t play into a lustful sin
The way everything had torn me apart,
Continues to bring me pain
But humanity is felt from the heart,
So, to those who have toyed with my mind
I’m sorry but you won’t get me,
Not this time