A little xiyao video i made, please help i'm so obsessed
A little xiyao video i made, please help i'm so obsessed
Collars my beloved 💛💙💜💚
hello! you can call me husky if you want lol. I’m 20 years old, so I’m looking for 18+ partners strictly!
Important!: I Am Searching For Someone Interested In Playing Lan Xichen!
A little bit about me before we get into the meat of this post:
I’m the type of person that writes as much as I think I should. Usually paragraphs. Never one liners though! I hope you can provide the same!
I am a massive Guangyao apologist, seriously lol. I love him and I can go on for hours about it! And xiyao is one of my favorite ships, I love to talk about their dynamics. I would love to find someone just as enthusiastic! Please, yack my ear off about lan xichen and jin guangyao via ooc besides roleplaying ideas too!
I’m open to nsfw down the line if it makes sense for the specific scene or moment, but please please discuss things first with me and we can figure things out lol.
Please don’t be afraid to swap ideas to further the plot with me. Hell, even change or improve upon things. It’s what makes rp interesting. The RP plot below is a foundation sandwiched together in a general ~~vibe~~ I’m going for but yeah, totally open to further brain storming!
Now onto the RP fun stuff!:
This is mainly inspired by CQL a tiny bit but usually for me, I like mixing and blending book and show canon. But you’ll see what I mean further down.
I love canon divergence AUs when it comes to Xiyao so I was thinking... In the show (this is the “inspired by cql part”) Guangyao, then “Meng Yao” declines Lan Xichen’s offer to stay because he doesn’t feel like he should stay since he’s only a Nie servant at this point but what if he doesn’t decline and instead accompanies Huaisang to the Cloud Recesses lectures as a companion slash “servant.” I can see him justifying this as “oh, I’m keeping an eye on huaisang for Mingjue” and he does... but... :^))
Lan Xichen, eldest twin jade of gusu lan, this kind faced gentleman seems to be intruiged by him. I mean, if anything in that gift giving ceremony is to go by (and the fact that lxc !!personally!! !went to !!search for him!! to get him to stay!! a cultivator from a respected clan like gusu, doing that for someone like meng yao?? excuse me??)). So imagine lxc slowly trying to get to know meng yao.? Somehow they bump into each other while going about their day (sometimes while meng yao is with huaisang so cue huaisang teasing meng yao about it and meng yao denying it with a blush lol).
And of course, lxc probably has correspondence with nmj sometimes too. Probably mentions how “talented, polite and knowledable his new deputy is” because he’s so intruiged by this new face.
Meng Yao not being used to all this attention, and lxc being pretty much still being a stranger to him, underneath that mutual budding attraction, is wary as to lxc’s intentions. He’s accustomed to people attempting to take advantage of him but this is the first time he is lowkey hoping that what lxc is presenting to him is true. (even though rationally he starts to think that nothing good can come out of... whatever this thing between them because really, lxc is the sect leader!!)
but somehow they just keep.... Finding each other. Up until now their interactions probably would have been entirely polite. A comment on the weather, talk of literature, a suggestion to a problem that lxc comes back a few days later and praises him for since it was a good suggestion. That kind of thing. Maybe it morphs into having tea in the Hanshi; meng yao expressing interest in music and lxc offering to teach him. Talk of their clans and families (though at this point in time, nhs might be considered somewhat of a little brother to meng yao!).
Angst and drama could be included by having things with the wens happening of course, as it can’t be all sun shines and budding romance (which we can discuss too! As I mentioned before, I love love idea bouncing. So depending on how the rp goes, we can adjust as needed. Really, the most fun RPs I’ve had were the ones that changed and morphed into something complex and layered upon the original base idea lol)
But yes, this is the vibes I’m going for. I love xiyao but I’ve never thought to do canon divergence so early in their dynamic.
I have a discord and would prefer to use that since tumblr notifications can be a bit wonky.
Hangouts (if you prefer that): email@example.com
in a different world where jgy was brought back to koi tower, where he grew up a more privileged life, a world where he got to go study at the cloud recesses with lxc as teenagers
lxc can't help the way he falls for the clever and polite jgy, jgy is starstruck by the elegant and beautiful lxc, and nmj teases them both too loud and too rough for either of their tastes but they can't help but admire nmj for his brass
jgy would fit so well in the cloud recesses even lqr would admire him and approve of lxc's friendship with him
they could've grown up, jgy rising to power (because he's still jgy) and their three sects becoming a powerhouse in the cultivation world, sworn brothers that everyone envies and admires for how inseparable they are, they got each other's backs till the end (except nmj is still himself ofc and well... we're ignoring that little fallout, this is a fluff post)
in a different world they could have been childhood friends and I think jgy deserves a slice of that world for all the shit he's been through
*bashing myself over the head* you will not start writing another enemies to lovers fic you will not start writing another enemies to lovers fic you will n
so prox and I watched the untamed and.... jgy
Is this a Mafia or a detective AU?? Maybe both??
deleting all my dating apps because i want to meet people the old fashioned way (offering him gifts on behalf of my sect and having my hand longingly brushed in return)
a pair of scholars in a garden
(or XiYao, historical art flavor)
only 305 words written, but I think I actually got through half the plot with that.
Pity the next half is going to require More Words.
an emergency situation
For anon who requested THAT SCENE from episode 41
i have to ask is there anything we know FOR SURE about xiyao on the run from the wen (how jgy found lxc, where they hid, etc) or is it all just commonly accepted fanon ideas
chap 4 of the modern xisangyao, also on AO3
Meng Yao faces his past and his future
Meng Yao screams upon seeing the face of those two intruders, and nearly stabs himself in the cheek with his tiny knife as he brings up his hands to cover his mouth.
He knows these men.
They killed him, once.
The one in blue chopped off his arm.
That one in red destroyed his reputation, exposed the darker sides of him for all to see, leaving him no choice but to die.
And Lan Xichen, of course, dealt the fatal blow.
Three men in this desolate house with him. Three murderers. Or is it really three? After all, none of this would have happened without…
Meng Yao, who refuses to fall to his knees like Lan Xichen out of sheer pride, sobs. He doesn’t know when, exactly, he started crying. But his face is now wet with tears and snot under his hands and his breath fogs up the blade of his knife. He hasn’t cried like this since his mother died.
In every life he’s lived, she has died too early.
A curse bound to repeat itself, a punishment for everything Meng Yao ended up doing after she died in that first life, and the second, and the third, and…
Somewhere a thousand miles away, heavy footsteps climb up stairs two, three at a times, rushed and loud as they never are usually. Meng Yao can’t see through his tears, but he still knows it must be mister Shanzi. A suspicion confirmed when a moment later his employer speaks up, breathless from running up those stairs.
He never was an athletic man, mister Shanzi, not if he could avoid it.
“Don’t hurt him!” Mister Shanzi cries out, trying to run again, only to settle for stumbling along until he’s in front of Meng Yao.
It’s a surprise, and it’s not. Either way, it startles Meng Yao out of his tears. He blinks a few times, until his vision clears. Mister Shanzi is there, shielding him from the other three, arms spread wide as if to better protect him. Meng Yao can’t see his face, but he can imagine the fierce, determined expression on his employer’s face.
His fourth murderer, and yet now Meng Yao feels less scared at last.
The newcomers aren’t impressed with mister Shanzi. The man in white and blue, kneeling next to Lan Xichen, glares up at mister Shanzi. Meng Yao feels he should know his name. He knew it, once, but they haven’t met in many lifetimes.
“You didn’t say,” the man says coldly, eyes darting toward Lan Xichen, still prostrated on the floor, as if he’s remembering as much as Meng Yao does, and enjoys it as little. “You know how much I’ve tried to find…”
“I’ll buy you lunch, Wangji,” mister Shanzi cuts him. “Deal with your brother, I’m taking care of Meng Yao.”
Lan Wangji frowns at this answer.
That’s his name, Meng Yao recalls. Lan Wangji, the one who goes where the chaos is. And the other, then, is Wei Wuxian. Two parts of a whole. Meng Yao thinks he hated them, once. Even before they destroyed him, he hated them for their freedom, for their right to be careless, when he had to measure his every word, his every action. Or perhaps it is just that a part of him always knew they would kill him.
As Meng Yao tries to remember which came first between hatred and murder, he feels mister Shanzi reach for his hands. The knife is taken from him and put away on the nearest surface, which ought to scare him. He knows, though, that no weapon he might yield could protect him, should mister Shanzi have it in mind to murder him again. Meng Yao has never once been successful in defending himself against him.
With this certainty in mind, Meng Yao doesn’t resist as mister Shanzi pulls him away, back to the basement. This, too, reassures him. Mister Shanzi loves his paintings more than anything in the world, more than scamming powerful assholes and overconfident idiots. If he had to kill Meng Yao, mister Shanzi wouldn't do it somewhere that would taint his precious art.
Once they reach the workshop, mister Shanzi gently brings Meng Yao inside and invites him to take the chair while he closes the door, locking it behind them. This too should scare Meng Yao. It doesn’t.
“How are you feeling?” mister Shanzi asks, coming closer but stopping at few steps away from Meng Yao. Giving him space, so he can feel safe. “How much do you remember?”
“I remember dying because of you,” Meng Yao says, falling onto the chair which rolls away from his employer.
Mister Shanzi is unphased, his face showing only polite interest, the way he does when meeting sellers and buyers. With him dressed like this, the neutral expression feels wrong. Funny, almost. Meng Yao would laugh, if he remembered how.
“You killed me several times,” Meng Yao says. It should make him angry. When he looked at Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji, he felt unfathomable rage over what they did to him even if he doesn’t understand what, exactly, it is that they did. They only killed him once, though. But mister Shanzi, who he can remember towering over him, holding a blade wet with his blood… “You also saved me, didn’t you?”
Mister Shanzi smiles, if you can call it that.
“I had to find a new way of dealing with you,” he casually admits. “After the first few times, killing you wasn’t as fun anymore.”
“I was a child the last time you killed me,” Meng Yao protests, and maybe there is some anger to be felt over that. He was just a child that one time.
A toddler really, playing in the street with other kids, Meng Yao suddenly remembers. His mother hadn’t quite died yet in that life, but her health had been declining, so he’d been left to his own devices too often. Someone had offered him sweets and he’d been too young to know he should refuse.
He hadn't even gotten those candies before getting his throat slit.
“It was a low point for me,” mister Shanzi admits with a shiver. “At that time, I was... You see, you had killed my brother in the first life in which we met, and in a truly horrible manner too,” he explains, and Meng Yao nods. It rings a bell. A corpse butchered, a melody... “and since he had never reincarnated, I didn’t see why you should get to. I’d always found you as an adult before that, and it was easy to find some failings of yours to excuse killing you. A child though…” He grimaces in disgust, looks down as his hands as if they're still stained with the warm blood of a three years old. “After that, I started reconsidering the way I was doing things. My brother had believed you were worth giving several chances, once, so I thought I’d honour his memory and do the same.”
“I suppose I should be grateful?” Meng Yao asks. “Just as I was supposed to be grateful toward Mingjue.”
Hearing his brother’s name makes mister Shanzi jump. But he’s not mister Shanzi, Meng Yao realises. That was never his true name.
“You’re Nie Huaisang,” Meng Yao says, mostly to himself. “You’re… after so long, and you’re still doing all this for him. I’d murdered the wrong brother, back then.”
Realising what he just said, Meng Yao tenses and throws Nie Huaisang a sharp glance, terrified that he might lash out at the reminder of that crime which has entangled their fates through centuries.
Nie Huaisang turns away, curling up on himself, shoulders shaking. Meng Yao braces himself for an attack, verbal or physical, but instead after a moment Nie Huaisang bursts out laughing, loud and unrestrained.
“Every time!” Nie Huaisang giggles. “Every damn time, you end up saying that! And every time I say that…”
“Da-ge would have been just as fierce in avenging you, so there was no right brother to kill, no right brother to spare,” Meng Yao finishes in a whisper. “I’m not saying that I want to kill you now,” he quickly adds. “I don’t. Not after what I owe you.”
Of course in that very first life, he owed Nie Mingjue, and that hadn’t stopped him. Meng Yao can feel the reek of the terror he’d felt then, stuck between a rock and a hard place, certain he didn’t have a choice. Perhaps he didn’t. Those were different times, and he had promised his mother to be a good son so his father would give him the status he deserved. So she hadn't suffered in vain when raising him.
Meng Yao had tried to be a good son, which had turned him into a poor friend. Not to Nie Mingjue exactly. They weren’t friends anymore by then. But to Lan Xichen, who had suffered first the loss of Nie Mingjue, and then years later the horror of having helped it happen.
And then Lan Xichen had killed him.
Maybe he hadn't been a very good friend either.
“I’m really sorry for this,” Nie Huaisang says. “You’ve always remembered, whenever I’ve taken you in, but it’s never been quite so fast and brutally. And it’s the first time that…”
He trails off, looking over his shoulder toward the door with a mix of dread and longing.
“Lan Xichen,” Meng Yao guesses.
“Lan Xichen,” Nie Huaisang agrees, before chuckling sadly. “Did you… does he… did he know before coming here, or…”
Meng Yao thinks on it, and shakes his head. He might be deluding himself, but he doesn’t believe Lan Xichen knew, not until they arrived to the Hanshi, not until he saw Nie Huaisang, not until he was confronted by his own brother. It took both of them by surprise.
Meng Yao wants to ask about Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian, but doesn’t. It’s not necessary, he realises. Having been in their presence, he can guess that they are more like Nie Huaisang than like him or Lan Xichen. There is just something about those people who no longer die that sets them apart from ordinary humans, even at first glance.
“He was just here about the painting,” Meng Yao explains. “He’s writing a book on… well, on you, I guess.”
The expression on Nie Huaisang’s face is a complicated one, equal part regret and relief.
“Wangji had been looking for him,” he says. “Quite desperately. Well, he found him now, good for him. As for myself, I don’t think I should… well. Well. It doesn’t matter. Lan Xichen made it clear once how he thinks of me, and I know better than to impose myself where I am unwanted. I’ll just disappear for a while, make sure we don’t run into each other. The antics scene was getting a little bothersome anyway. Damn technology, ruining my life. I’ll have to find something else to keep me busy. I guess I’ll have to leave this house, too.”
As he speaks of abandoning the Hanshi, Nie Huaisang looks truly sad. Almost in spite of himself he raises a hand to touch the nearest wall, brushing his fingertips against it as one would a lover.
He's owned this house most of his life, he once told Meng Yao. At the time, Meng Yao had thought his employer had bought it young, or inherited it somehow, meaning he’d lived there for maybe twenty years.
He wonders how long “most of his life” really means.
“Am I fired?” Meng Yao asks instead. A more practical question, and one to which he’s more likely to get an answer.
“I… I betrayed you. I took someone here without your knowledge.”
Nie Huaisang blinks a few times, then laughs softly and comes to kneel before the chair, taking Meng Yao's hand. His skin his warm, his touch grounding, and Meng Yao, stupidly, wants him to never let go.
“Oh, A-Yao,” Ni Huaisang sighs, squeezing his hand. “Neither of us would ever know how to refuse Lan Xichen anything that he asks. How could I blame you for this? No, you’re not fired.”
Meng Yao lets out a deep exhale.
“I still can’t keep you around anymore,” Nie Huaisang adds, tilting his head slightly. It makes him look like a curious bird. He’d like the comparison, Meng Yao thinks in a panicked effort to not delve on what his former employer just said.
“I won’t betray you again,” he promises, grasping Nie Huaisang's hand tightly, as if that could keep him here.
“If Lan Xichen asks, you will. I don’t think he’ll ask, mind you,” Nie Huaisang says with a smile. “I haven’t seen him since that first life we all shared, and we didn’t part on good terms. You wouldn’t know, you were dead already, but I… well. He did not take kindly to being used as my weapon to kill you, to put it mildly. And now you’re in love with him again, in a world where… well, it’s easier to love him these days, isn’t it?”
“I’m not in love,” Meng Yao says, but the protest sounds hollow as it leaves his lips.
If he’s not in love with Lan Xichen, he’s more than halfway there already. Why else would he have betrayed Nie Huaisang, whom he does love, in spite of how stupid it is? Even without realising exactly what 'mister Shanzi' was, Meng Yao could tell there was something off about the man, something unnatural and dangerous. He's an idiot, though, and loved him all the more for it.
“I’m not in love just with him,” Meng Yao corrects, which startles Nie Huaisang. Good. Meng Yao isn’t quite as cruel as he was in that first life or some of the following ones, but he wouldn’t call himself kind either. If he must suffer, why shouldn’t others do too? “Take me with you. Wherever you’re going, take me with you.”
“Do you really think Lan Xichen would still have anything to do with me, now that he remembers?” Meng Yao insists, rising from the chair. Nie Huaisang lets go of his hand and stands up as well, takes a few steps back as if putting distance between them will do anything. “It’s pointless to leave me behind. Take me with you.”
“No. You’re mortal,” Nie Huaisang sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You… I’m not doing that. I’m not involving myself with a mortal. I’ve seen what it does to people like me. I won’t… I can’t allow anything to destroy me like that. Not until I’ve found da-ge again, not until I’ve seen him safe and happy.”
Meng Yao nods, because he understands, because he’d give everything for a chance to see his mother again, would sacrifice anything just to make sure she’s happy. And still, he says again: “Take me with you.”
“You’ll need an assistant. You need one. You're useless on your own. You suck at keeping track of appointments, and you still haven’t figured out social media, and… just that, just your assistant.”
“I can keep things compartmentalised.”
“I can’t,” Nie Huaisang snaps. “I… I would have let you go soon, anyway,” he adds, more quietly, as if confessing a terrible secret. “You are… I got attached, more than planned. You’re good, in this life. I think the world is finally changing enough to allow you to exist and you’re… but it doesn’t matter. I was always going to let you go, it’s just happening sooner than I’d planned.”
“So I am fired.”
Nie Huaisang grimaces. For a moment, just a second, he looks exactly as old as he is. There’s an exhaustion in his eyes, so deep and ancient it is almost frightening to behold. Centuries after centuries of looking for the same person, of never finding him, of meeting instead his brother's murderer over and over and over again.
“You’re not fired,” Nie Huaisang tiredly insist. “I’m going to continue paying you until you find another job, and I’ll make sure the right people know you’re on the market again, if you want to stay in that line of work. I also don’t mind paying for any school you like. I’ll write you letters of recommendation, I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure you’re good even without me, but… but after today you won’t see me again. I just can’t risk it.”
“And if you found your brother again,” Meng Yao suggests, because unlike Nie Huaisang he’s good with new technology. If Nie Mingjue is alive somewhere, he can find him. He will find him. It can’t be a coincidence that Lan Xichen and him met like that, so maybe…
Nie Huaisang shrugs, and shakes his head.
“I’ll never stop looking for him. But I don’t think he’s coming back. I think the damage to his soul was too great, and it was just the end for him. I’ve got to keep looking, but I think there’s nothing to find. So I won’t make promises to you, Meng Yao. I’ll have that decency, at least.”
It’s funny, Meng Yao thinks, how little Nie Huaisang has changed since that first life.
By which he means, Nie Huaisang is still the same dramatic asshole as he used to be, still so wrapped in his own problems that he doesn’t really care about the effect his decisions have on others, because he’s a Nie so of course he’s always right.
It used to drive Meng Yao grazy, in that first life, when he thought all Nie Huaisang had going for him was a good inheritance and a pretty face.
It still drives him crazy right now, when he knows Nie Huaisang is perfectly capable of being more than this, should he feel like it.
Before Meng Yao can insist, there is a knock on the door. They both startle, having half forgotten there are others with them in that house. Nie Huaisang looks panicked for a moment, but quickly gets himself under control. He probably guesses, as Meng Yao does, that it cannot be Lan Xichen, who surely would never reach out to either of them.
That guess turns out to be right. When Nie Huaisang goes to open the door, he finds Wei Wuxian there, who looks… not quite angry as such, but ready to be pushed there if anyone says the wrong thing.
“You still want us to take you away?” Wei Wuxian asks.
Nie Huaisang nods quickly, than shakes his head, looking up at the ceiling.
“Zewu-Jun can’t… If he's coming too...”
“He needs time to digest, and he says that one…” Wei Wuxian nods toward Meng Yao, who flinches on instinct “...called him a taxi, so he’ll make his own way home. Lots to think about. Did you fucking know, Huaisang?”
“Not until today, and I called you right away. You think I wouldn’t have told you, if I’d known? You think I’d have gone anywhere near him by choice?”
Wei Wuxian shrugs, in a manner that seems to imply he doesn’t really know what Nie Huaisang might do about anything.
“What about that one?” Wei Wuxian asks, nodding again toward Meng Yao.
Nie Huaisang shrugs. “He has his car. Wei-xiong, I just want to leave now. Please.”
They do leave. Wei Wuxian glances one last time at Meng Yao, but Nie Huaisang doesn’t look back as he exits the room.
Just like that, Meng Yao finds himself alone, with only paintings and a broken game console for company.
He allows himself a moment of sorrow because, and he can admit this to himself now that it no longer matters, he’d been hoping to spend the rest of his life with either Lan Xichen or Nie Huaisang. Both, if fate chose to be kind to him.
Fate has never chosen kindness, when it comes to him.
So Meng Yao dries his tears, and picks up that shattered console on the floor.
The paintings in this room are worthless to him. Over half are fakes, and even Nie Huaisang, who painted them, doesn’t always recognises just from looking what’s real and what’s not. But the console… well, there’s a guy who lives in Meng Yao’s building who’s made a business of buying broken electronics and either repairing them or scavenging them for parts.
Maybe Nie Huaisang really will continue paying him, or maybe he won’t, but Meng Yao hasn’t gotten where he is in life by counting on the kindness of others.
He’ll sell the console when he gets home.
You know how it is, laying there after being stabbed and your main concern is your crushes safety