Onde é que tu estás?
External imageOnde é que tu estás? Este questionamento deveria acompanhar-te de mão dada. Não para te deixar num estado depressivo e melancólico, mas para te relembrar o valor da tua vida. Devias perceber por onde é que te tens deixado. Onde é que tens deixado semear todos os teus pedaços? Onde é que te tens deixado ficar à espera? Em que sentido se encontra o teu sentido?
Onde é que tu estás? Deixaste para trás esta pergunta com medo de não a conseguires responder. Sentes-te incapaz de a enfrentar e de a levar com os passos da tua humanidade. Para ti restam somente os teus pés atados a uma indignidade que ateimas em colocar em tudo o que és e fazes. Sobra apenas um pouco que não te deixa ser mais do que um louco dentro de ti mesmo.
Onde é que tu estás? Vives num desânimo permanente. A tua felicidade não foi esgotada, mas sim recalcada. Colocaste-a de fora. Perdida de ti, quando devia estar perdida em ti. Procuras, mas não sabes o quê, por isso continuas nesse fingimento de uma azáfama que te parece preencher e realizar, mas quando és confrontado com o silêncio, logo te deixas quebrar e recolhes de novo à tua verdadeira essência.
Onde é que tu estás? Consegues ao menos localizar-te nesta linha do tempo? Consegues ao menos dar-te tempo? Talvez precises desse teu tempo para uma travessia dura, mas plena de ti mesmo. Talvez necessites de te abandonar. Deixares-te ao abandono de ti mesmo. Sem medos, nem receios. Sem máscaras, nem desculpas. Apenas contigo, sem esperares que te apanhem.
Onde é que tu estás? Onde estão os teus sonhos? Onde está a tua alegria? Onde estás tu no meio de tudo o que és e fazes? Se não te deixares encontrar agora com esta pergunta, talvez um dia seja tarde demais para a colocares na mochila da tua vida.
Onde é que tu estás? Não respondas já. Coloca-a em ti.
~ Emanuel António Dias
0I will get through this
I will get through thi
I will get through t
I will get throug
I will get thro
I will get th
I will get
I will g
I will
I will be lying on the floor at 5am, thinking bout the day I lost you
Neverawakeneverasleep
0We weren’t lovers. You told me that we’ll never be more than good friends and that you needed space.
And now you pushed me outta your life and made me suffer for only one goddamn mistake, while I‘m already in such a massiv pain.
0My reaction to Caryl shippers getting bullied and harassed in the fandom:
4“You know you’re fucked when you don’t just think of him at 2am, but also at 2pm”
Lover
0Pairing: Ethan Choi x Reader
Warning: Violence, swearing, Attack
AN: Written for a request on Ethan Choi from @nocturnalherb16
I’m in need of some protective Ethan Choi with fluff. Like maybe reader is a nurse in the ED and she was handling another patient when the patient either wont stop hitting on her or attacked her and when Ethan sees his gf getting harassed/attacked he immediately comes to her rescue?
****
Ethan locked the car and came around to where you were stood at the front, it was freezing in Chicago and he didn’t complain when you linked your fingers with his and slipped your joined hands into his jacket pocket, you were actually trying not to dance on the spot like a small child.
“Let’s get inside”
“You don’t want a coffee?”
You were torn, on one hand you weren’t really fit to be around patients until you’d had at least another couple of ounces of caffeine however, on the other hand, that coffee cart had a long queue and you weren’t sure you wouldn’t already be an icicle by the time you got that coffee.
“How about I make you a deal”
Ethan’s eyebrow rose as he looked down at you, he knew you way to well because he sighed. “Alright, go, I’ll get the coffees”
“Love you”
“No, you love coffee”
Smiling you lifted yourself up on tiptoe to kiss his cheek before untangling your hands and taking off for the entrance to the hospital. It was still across two carparks but it was a lot closer than having to detour to the coffee cart.
The guy came out of nowhere, you were attempting to navigate your way around a puddle of ice when suddenly he was stood right in front of you.
“Give me your bag”
“Huh?” you’d never been accused of being able to think fast on the spot. Not with words anyway.
“Your bag lady, give me your bag”
The man, although he was probably much closer to a boy was now also brandishing a knife and your brain thank god finally clicked back into gear. Knives hurt, they could do serious damage, you saw that on a regular basis in the ED.
“Ok, ok, calm down. You can have it”
The kid’s eyes were darting rapidly back and forth as you slid your bag off your shoulder and held it out. The kid grabbed it. “And your pockets. Empty them”
“There isn’t anything…”
“Lady this isn’t a fucking discussion. Empty your pockets!”
It was broad daylight in the middle of a busy hospital carpark and of course there was no one around when you needed there to be. Absolutely typical. Carefully you pulled out your hospital badge and a few loose coins, it was honestly all that was in them.
“This is it”
“Fuck that” the kid grabbed your outstretched wrist and yanked you forwards trying to get you in towards him.
That patch of ice that you’d been trying to avoid though came back to haunt you because you slipped falling to the floor. The kid yelped he hadn’t been ready for you to fall and the hand with the knife in slashed down out of instinct to stop him falling too.
It slashed right into your arm though, yelping you saw that the knife had gone through all the layers you had on and cut deep into your forearm.
“Y/N!” Ethan’s voice yelled out from close by, the kid panicked massively and still with your bag over his shoulder he ran.
“Fuck”
“Y/N” Ethan skidded down to the ground beside you, eyes flicking to the blood coming from your arm. He pressed his hand to it applying pressure to try and stop the bleeding.
“That asshole stole my bag!”
“Where else are you hurt?”
The two of you had spoken at the same time, Ethan’s question was probably more important but your brain wasn’t thinking in a straight line at the moment and you were more concerned with what you’d just lost.
“Shit Ethan, everything was in there, my phone, my wallet, god I’m going to be on the phone with the DMV for day’s trying to get my license reissued…”
“Y/N” Ethan took your face in both hands. “Where are you hurt?”
“Hurt?” oh yeah, you clicked back in to your surroundings and realised you were still sat on the icy ground, your arm was throbbing and something seemed to have clicked in your ankle. “Arm and ankle, left one”
“Put pressure here” you did as he said pressing on the cut on your arm as he gently prodded your ankle, you hissed as soon as his fingers got close. “you need an x-ray”
“It’s broken?”
“Likely”
Great, you were going to be out of work as well. You couldn’t be a nurse with a broken ankle.
“Ethan? Y/N? What’s going on?” Will appeared at your side as well.
As Ethan explained Will frowned pulling out his phone to call his brother and then the two of them got you up off the floor and with both of them supporting you got you into the ED.
You weren’t seriously injured but it seemed like the whole ED staff swarmed on top of you. To be honest you were getting slightly overwhelmed, the whole morning starting to hit you. Ethan proving once again that he knew you better than anyone eventually ordered everyone out of the room. Declaring that he’d stitch you up himself.
“Thank you” your voice was low as you sat on the bed arm braced on your thigh. “I felt like I couldn’t breathe”
“I know” Ethan carefully numbed the sliced area on your arm. Once you’d gotten your layers off it turned out the cut was worse than it seemed. It wasn’t long but in the places it had gone through it was deep. “Can you feel that?” he pressed the edges of the cut with the needle.
“No. It’s numb”
Ethan carefully started stitching. “Jay’s going to come over and take a statement, description that kind of thing”
“Sure” it was very unlikely that they’d catch the kid. You knew that much. The CPD was as stretched as MED was and they didn’t have the resources to try and catch muggers. Even so it was nice that Jay was going to take the time to come himself. “You have the X-ray results for my ankle?”
It was currently wrapped and splinted just in case of a break.
“Not yet, the imaging department are backed up”
“Not surprising”
Ethan had finished with the stitching and was sat looking at you. “I’m sorry”
“For what?”
“If I’d gone with you…”
Of course, he was going to blame himself, he was operating on a serious hero complex, a hero complex that went into overdrive when it came to you. “Ethan, this wasn’t your fault. None of this is your fault”
“Y/N…”
“No” you put a finger over his mouth. “I don’t want to hear another word out of you about this. It wasn’t your fault and that’s final”
Ethan stood and pushed you a little over on the bed so he could sit down beside you arm going around your shoulders and pulling you into his side. He kissed the top of your head as you rested against him.
“Don’t get hurt Y/N” he whispered into your hair. “I can’t deal with it being you who’s bleeding”
“Alright, I promise”
You stayed plastered against each other until Maggie screamed for Dr Choi and your lives went back to the usual order of things in seconds.
****
@lifesaclimb-buttheviewisgreat @lclb13 @moli1497 @clementines-x @the-chosen-one-time-lord @no-other-names-availible-blog @angelaiswriting @selldraug @angryares @thenovarose @georgiagrl1990
@punk-rock-5-sos@mindofthescattered @dontstopxx @iamabeautifulperson18 @madelinecraig03 @ka-x-in@im-hurric4ne@mesmericbell@something–awesome@weirdpotato-14 @putinontheritzz @soulslaststand @fuckthatfeeling @ember1201 @morganlb23@kitkatbadass@tomhopperarms @fakingintrest @artprincessbree @dreamer-lover-laughter @artprincessbree @rime-warrior @captainvaneswife@jaib2-blog@kapolisradomthoughts @thingsandstuffienjoy @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @aya-fay @itsbubbaog @hp-hogwartsexpress @emmykinzs @thatbadassunicorn @sassywingednightmare @weirdnewbie @goyawriter @shipperfangirling @nathaliabakes @stillreadingfantasy @waywardblueshun14“Dear N, i know we haven’t talked or seen each other for a while. i just want you to know that i miss you. i miss talking to you about everything and nothing all at once. i miss laughing with you. i miss talking with you. i miss how you made me feel more alive than ever when i was with you. you were my partner in crime, my very best friend. but i messed it up. i lost you and i lost us and i lost a part of myself. i feel so incomplete without you. i wish i could forget about you like you forgot about me. the thing is, i can’t and i don’t want to. i never want to forget about you, because you‘re that important to me…. and i don’t ever want to forget that i’m able to care about a person that much. thank you for showing me how strong my emotions can be and making me a better person than i was before i met you. i will forever remain grateful for all the time i got spent with you, all the beautiful things we got to experience together. yours always, K”
0
το μέρος μας.
θυμάμαι, ένα βράδυ μου είχες πει,
πως όποτε με πιάνουν τα δικά μου
να σε παίρνω τηλέφωνο
και ήξερες αμέσως που θα με βρεις.
Στο μέρος μας.
Απόψε δε νιώθω καλά.
Σε περιμένω,
που είσαι;
29Meeting you was like listening to a song for the first time and knowing it would be my favorite.
84last night my friend told me she’s never heard me talk about someone the way I talked about you.
I’m stuck in between being content with waiting and wanting to kiss you with all the fire in my veins the next time I see you.
I also am scared with what waiting is going to do to me.
Is it a good fear?
0
I sat in this chair today…overgrown in bushes and hidden amidst a cemetery full of people who once dreamed like me…
To wish…to be…to dream…to wonder…
one day will you sit here with me?
2In the mood to get into the car and drive until I can feel sand beneath my feet and the ocean breeze in my face.
Let’s run away together.
6
